I hate house cleaning.

Well it is finally Friday. I am so ready for a break. Of course we have tons of company coming next week so I have to spend some time getting the house in order.
I will admit, I'm just not a good housekeeper. I hate cleaning. If I had extra money, I'd hire a maid. I hate to vacuum, mop, dust, etc. My husband is bad about it too so between the two of us nothing really gets done on a regular basis.

But with all of our parents and family and friends coming in for his graduation. I have no choice. And he is not usually any help. Somehow he always has something that just has to be done during that time. And even when he does help, he doesn't do it right (sometimes I think it is a ploy so I will tell him not to do it.) If he is feeling really nice, he does help, esp. when it is his parents coming, but still we both hate it and we wait until the last minute to do it too.

I've tried several times to get into a routine of cleaning but it never seems to work. So then I just have to do twice the work when I finally get around to it.

Loving Troubled People

Someone sent this to me as a power point. It was particularly meaningful today.


One day, a small opening appeared in a cocoon; a man sat and watched for the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole.
Then, it seems to stop making any progress.
It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could not go any further.
So the man decided to help the butterfly: he took a pair of scissors and opened the cocoon.
The butterfly then emerged easily.
But it had a withered body, it was tiny and shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would open, enlarge and expand, to be able to support the butterfly’s body, and become firm.
What the man, in his kindness and his goodwill did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening, were nature’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings, so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Sometimes, struggles are exactly what we need in our life.
If we were allowed to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as we could have been. Never been able to fly.

I asked for Strength...
and I was given difficulties to make me strong.

I asked for Wisdom...
and I was given problems to solve.

I asked for prosperity...
and I was given a brain and brawn to work.

I asked for Courage…..
and I was given obstacles to overcome.

I asked for Love...
and I was given troubled people to help.

I asked for Favors...
And I was given Opportunities.

"I received nothing I wanted...
But I received everything I needed."

Live life without fear, confront all obstacles and know that you can overcome them.

Sad Day in Pandaland

Things are getting worse here in Pandaland. I found out that my new sister-in-law has SADS/SCD. Not good. basically her heart doesn't beat right and they are going to have to put in a defibrillator to help it out. She is not that old and too young to have to deal with that for the rest of her life. But I guess it is better than dying in your sleep.

Also my best friends Aunt who was already having health problems, no has breast cancer. She is having a large mass removed and they are worried that it does not have clear margins so it may have spread. Plus is making her dad very upset (it is his sister) and he does not need the stress either.

I need a drink this week or a massage or something.

Dealing with Crazy

I have a dilemma. I have someone who I have been friends with for over ten years. This person at one time was very near and dear to me; I am very close to her children; we used to talk and share everything. But over the last few years, this has been going down hill. We met when we lived in the same city, then she married and moved away. We visited and talked often. Then a couple of years ago I moved to the same city as her. Since moving here, we rarely see each other, she does not ask me to watch her kids, she doesn't call me in emergencies, if we do see each other it has been because I make the effort.

We have another mutual friend and the three of us have always been close. The two of them knew each other in high school and I met them soon after. Our other friend and I lived in the same city for much longer and became very close, probably closer than the two of them. But we all shared everything and there never seemed to by any issues with that. Since moving, I have spent more time with the friend that now lives in a different city than the one I live in the same city as. We make time for each other, we talk almost every day. When this friend does come into town, she now stays with me (we both used to stay with the other friend). Our other friend usually doesn't even make the time to come see her and if we do, we have to go to her house. I realize that she has children, a busy career and a husband in the navy, but still you should make the effort to see visiting friends at least.

All of this probably wouldn't bother me so much if it was not for the fact that she makes time to visit with other local friends. Not that she tells me. It used to be that I was her go to friend. If she had a problem or needed advice, she came to me. But no more. Now I only hear about things from our mutual friend if at all. When we do talk, she doesn't really ask about my life, but complains about hers.

I recently went to Vegas to attend my brother's wedding (to whom I am very close). When I spoke to her afterward, she didn't ask about the wedding, my trip or my family (all of which were there). I had to tell her it was nice and then she launched into stuff going on in her life. I also found out (from my other friend), that she recently had a girls night with a couple of her local friends. I wasn't in town and couldn't have gone, but she didn't call to even see if I wanted to attend and she never makes plans like that with me.

If these were the only issues, I probably would have had it out with her months ago and been done with the friendship. But there are her underlying health issues. She has some medical problems and we are becoming convinced that she also maybe having mental issues. I am not the only one noticing this, our other friend is concerned as well. She has become very self-absorbed, she tells my other friend many things she doesn't tell me and seems to possibly be hearing voices, having delusions and other odd behavior. This friend has always had some quirks but now the have worked themselves into a strange manifestation.

Several years ago, this friend became more religious. As the years go by, her religiousness has become fanatical. She tells her friends and family they aren't going to heaven and she worries that she won't be with them in the afterlife. Everything in her life is equated to how she is or isn't being a good Christian or how others aren't being good Christians. This too has put more and more of a strain on our relationship because while I respect her choices, she doesn't really respect mine (sending my religious emails and such).

In the beginning I tried to speak with her honestly about all of this, but that just made it worse. And I sometimes think this maybe why our friendship is falling apart. But then there are the "messages" she is getting and her stories of how demons are stopping her from eating or waking her children up in the middle of the night and making them go to the bathroom. It makes me terribly upset and I worry for her and her children.

Even though part of me is very angry at her for not working harder on our friendship; part of me is scared as hell that something is really wrong with her. Most of these odd behaviors she, of course, doesn't confide to me, she tells my other friend and we discuss the vast difference in her behavior around me and her behavior with our friend. What if no one else but the kids notice this. Her husband works odd hours and is now away from home for a while for work.

This is what keeps me talking to her, guilt. I feel guilty that if I just cut her out of my life like I usually would, and then something did go horribly wrong what would happen. She has no family up here. I'm the one who knows her family, her kids call me aunt. Who would take care of everything until her family arrived. I just don't know what to do. I know that most people would say that if something happens it's not my fault and I know I have an issue with taking other people's problems as my own, but for a long time she was a very important part of my life and I don't know how to abandon that when she might be in trouble.

SSDD

I think I'm a little bored. I don't really have anything to do at work right now and my stomach always hurts so who wants to do anything.

There was a little excitement here today. One of my co-workers had one of our other co-workers that she doesn't even know, just plop down in her office and start talking to her as if they were old friends.
My office is comprised of the plant employees and then a small office staff. Due to the difference in work hours and that the offices are seperated from the warehouse a little, we do not always get to know the plant staff all that well. There is alot of turn over as well. This particular employee only works part time and keeps to herself most of the time b/c she is busy doing her job. So this guy just comes in her office on his break, pulls up a chair and starts talking to her. Without asking, are you busy right now or mind if I come in.
So she asked me how to handle it without being mean. I told her to just make an excuse to leave her office to do something else, then he would have no reason to wait. If not I told her to have a manager or supervisor come in to assist her with something, then the guy would leave as to not get in trouble. Especially if it was making her uncomfortable.

So that is all that is happening right now. I am can't wait to get home and finish working on my knitting. I will post photos soon.

Who needs to leave the house

I still don't want to be here, but maybe soon it will be over. The hubby is graduating soon, guess it depends on where he gets a job. I'm just tired of people. Sometimes I wish I could just stay in my house all the time and have things like food and such just delivered. I could work from home and shop from home and talk to the few people I like on the phone. Who needs to leave the house anyway? This weekend like the weekend before. I stayed inside the entire time. I didn't go anywhere, I didn't do anything but watch Lifetime and knit. I just can't deal with people anymore. I'm too tired. Sometimes I don't even want to deal with those I like. So I just go to sleep. I know it sounds like I'm depressed, but it's not that I just don't have any energy. I don't feel sad, I just feel tired.

My Brother's Big Day

My younger brother, though not the youngest, got married this week!!!! I love his new wife, she is great. They live in Las Vegas so we all went out there (Mom, Husband, Aunts, youngest brother, etc.) for the wedding. My best friend came for a few days before the wedding and my husband came out for the wedding and the weekend. It was crazy but we had fun. Lots of running around and last minute stuff to do.

I had never been to Vegas and don't know if I'd go again other than to visit my brother. Everything is brown. I'm not much of a gambler and everything is so damn expensive. I'd rather go somewhere where there are musems and gallerys and history.

The wedding went off fine and now they are on their honeymoon!

Homesick Blues

Today I don't want to care. I want a new job where I'm not involved the petty office politics. I want a house that is mine. I want to be near the friends I can trust. I want my husband to be done with school.
Basically I want to go home. I don't want to live in this city anymore, I want my city back. I want my friends and family back. I want everything to be familiar like it used to be. I want the restaurants I love and the shops I know. I want to be able to get where I'm going in ten different ways. I want my doctors and my hairdresser, I even want my news stations back.
I used to believe that living one place was pretty much like living anywhere else, places to shop, places to go, roads and house. But it's not, not after you've lived in the same place for 31 years and then all of a sudden you move. I'm lost all the time and nothing is as good as the way we did it at home. I didn't even leave the state but still, it is not the same. When I was young I dreamed of the day I'd move away, and now all I think about is going back.
Today I just want to go home.

Will Rock Stars Ever Learn?

You would think that after the hole Pamela Anderson/Tommy Lee video tape leak fiasco, rock stars and actors, and "it" girls would stop taping themselves having sex. Is there something about being famous that makes sex so boring in and of itself that you have to start video taping it, or may its just that these people have gotten so used to being in front of a camera, they don't know how to not be filmed doing stuff.

Boys and their need for warfare

My husband and a few of his friends have started a political blog, to which they have invited me, I haven't posted yet because it's been a back and forth banter between the far right, the far left and the one who just likes to argue for argument's sake (that would be my hubby). As I have sit back and watch them trade spares back and forth, I notice that the talk is mostly about history and wars and I think to myself, Jees guys, can't we get out of the past. I know that those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it, but living in it and constantly re-hashing it isn't good for any relationship. Acknowledge it, accept it and move on.

Mind Your Business

I will never understand why everyone always has to worry about what their co-workers are doing. If the job is getting done and not effecting you, Mind Ya'.

I work with way too many busy bodies and some days it just gets to me, so I will rant . . .

For example, if certain people have the time to notice that other people are supposedly always on the internet or playing card games on their computer doesn't stand to reason that the first party has a little too much time on their hands as well and ought to worry about finding more work for themselves instead of worrying what the hell I am or am not doing.

BTW all of those above actions are not necessarily things that I do, but there is a small group of us here that the busy bodies don't like because we get things done, we have the respect of the powers that be and we are fun loving and easy going, unless you cross us.

And yes on occasion when there is nothing to do but fill the seat waiting for the next directive, the phone to ring or some stupid program to load, we do go on the internet or play a game. But this is how our jobs go.

The Administrative Assistant sometimes has nothing to do but what until work is given to her, but she doesn't ignore it when something needs to be done.

Likewise, the receptionist's main job function is to answer the phones and greet guests, she can't be away from her desk, so if there is nothing else for her to do but man the station, should she just sit there like a bump on a log?

We are also always the crew that will help any one out with any kind of work when there is a deadline or backlog. You never hear us say "it's not my job". We always help out, we always get the job done and we always give credit where credit is due or man up when a mistake has been made.

Maybe it is because we are all women, I hate to think that, but no one complains about the men in this company that don't even come in half the time. Even more so, we are strong women and that is a cardinal sin in these parts.

All I have to say is, if our boss doesn't care, then why should you? Everyone's job is different and some require a lot of work all the time and others are paid to sit and wait for further instruction. We don't like to be bored any more than anyone else, which is why we are doing these things in the first place. The big wigs realize this and that sometimes a little "slacking" is good for morale and job performance. And again I say, if it isn't effecting your job and the work is getting done correctly and in a timely manner, Mind Your Own Business.

There is no breaking on the Interstate!

Some of my loyal subjects are not following the rules. There is no breaking on the interstate.
If you can't figure out at the first and second warning signs that you need to get over so you can get off the exit ramp . . . TOO BAD. There is no reason to cause a traffic jam and accident b/c you think you are soooooo important that you have to come to a complete stop in the middle of the interstate so that you can get over into what is already a backed up exit ramp.

Plan ahead people, that is all I ask. And if you can't plan ahead, at least think of your fellow motorist and get off at the next exit, turn around and get back on to find the exit you need. I'd do it for you . . .

Ok I feel better now. Soon I will explain my self-important person principal to you and how each one of us can combat it to make PandaLand a better place.

Welcome to PandaLand!

You have now entered an alternate universe, where I make the rules and apply them to the rest of you ;)

In days to come I will explain to you some of the nuiances of living in PandaLand and how wwas (what would A say) came about. (BTW: "A" is me, the Design Diva, the Grrl that is Panda, overseer of PandaLand, etc and et al.)